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From the creator of Family Guy and director of Ted comes a hilarious first novel that reinvents the Western.
Mild-mannered sheep farmer Albert Stark is fed up with the harsh life of the American frontier, where it seems everything and anything can kill you: Duels at high noon. Barroom brawls. Poisonous snakes. Cholera-infected drinking water. Tumbleweed abrasion. Something called “toe-foot.” Even a trip to the outhouse. Yes, there are a million ways to die in the wild, wild West, and Albert plans to avoid them all. Some people think that makes him a coward. Albert calls it common sense. But when his girlfriend dumps him for the most insufferable guy in town, Albert decides to fight back—even though he can’t shoot, ride, or throw a punch. Fortunately, he teams up with a beautiful gunslinger who’s tough enough for the both of them. Unfortunately, she’s married to the biggest, meanest, most jealous badass on the frontier. Turns out Albert has just discovered a million and one ways to die in the West.
- Sales Rank: #558989 in Books
- Published on: 2014-03-04
- Released on: 2014-03-04
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 7.70" h x .99" w x 5.10" l, .70 pounds
- Binding: Hardcover
- 224 pages
From Booklist
In this bawdy parody of a western, the feckless young hero, Albert Stark, can’t face up to a bully, and his girlfriend dumps him. The setting is ostensibly Old Stump, Arizona, in 1882, but it bears no resemblance to anywhere, and, really, Albert is a contemporary nerd, bored with the violence, pestilence, and low culture of the West. Albert sulks until a mysterious young woman, Anna Barnes, shows up in town, but it turns out she’s married to a ruthless thug, Clinch Leatherwood, whom Albert will shortly have to face to win Anna. A bizarre spirit quest, fueled by some Apache peyote, builds up his confidence and gives him a plan for how to defeat Clinch. A Million Ways is adapted from MacFarlane’s screenplay; he is also responsible for the TV show Family Guy, and he directed Ted. The movie will star Liam Neeson, Charlize Theron, and MacFarlane himself. The novelization is a hasty, coarse, unfunny piece of work, but the movie will make it circulate. --John Mort
Review
* [A Million Ways to Die in the West] is packed with raunchy, twisted jokes ... The story has all the hallmarks of a classic Western - gunfights, a stagecoach robbery, hostile Indians - but Mr. MacFarlane mocks those tropes at every turn Wall Street Journal * Elicits genuine hilarity from the most unlikely material Empire on FAMILY GUY * Creative, adorable, ingenious New Yorker on TED * Combining hilarity with skilled storytelling Total Film on TED * Extravagantly talented Vanity Fair on Seth MacFarlane
About the Author
Seth MacFarlane is an animator, writer, producer, director, actor, and singer. He is the creator of the show Family Guy and co-creator of American Dad!, for which he also voices many of the shows’ various characters. He is the executive producer of the television series Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey. MacFarlane’s film Ted is the highest-grossing original R-rated comedy of all time, and he is the co-writer, producer, director, and star of the film A Million Ways to Die in the West. As a singer, MacFarlane has released a Grammy-nominated album of American standards, Music Is Better Than Words. He is a graduate of the Rhode Island School of Design.
Most helpful customer reviews
37 of 49 people found the following review helpful.
Because the Old West...Man, What a [CENSORED] Awful [CENSORED] Hole
By Chris Swanson
I've had a great appreciation for history over the years, and the more I've learned the happier I am to be living in the future. The past is generally a tableau of horrible things happening and becoming slightly less horrible as time goes on. Slavery, for example, morphed into Jim Crow laws, and eventually to something like 1 out of 8 every eight black males being in prison or on probation, so that's progress...of a sort. I suppose. Or consider women throughout history! We've gone from the likes of Elanor of Aquitaine and Elanor Roosevelt, as well as other women not named Elanor, to women like Sarah Palin. So...yeah...the inexorable march of progress...I guess.
Anyhow, the Old West was a particularly awful time and place, and I've never understood why people romanticize it as much as they do. Thankfully this book, by Seth McFarlane, best known for "Seth McFarlane's Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy", is a lovely panacea to that belief.
The story centers on Albert, technically a sheep farmer (for some rather odd sheep, it must be said), but mostly a professional coward. Think of Rincewind but in the Old West. We follow him on his adventures as he experiences life, love and getting shot in the ankle. Along for the ride are characters like Edward, the humble cobbler, and his girlfriend, a rather enthusiastic prostitute whose command of sex-talk is somewhat lacking.
The book is VERY MUCH along the lines of what you'd expect from McFarlane. Swearing? Oh, yes. Weird situations. Oh, yes. Anachronisms aplenty? Oh, yes. Now if you like all those things you'll be happy, if not, you probably won't bother buying this book, or even reading this review, so there's that.
I'm docking a star because while McFarlane is a great TV writer, he still needs to learn a bit about writing novels. It really seems like a screenplay where he basically cut and paste the lines into his word processor and the added "he said" when needed. Which I think is basically the case. But I did enjoy it overall, and it does make me look forward to the movie.
Also, wow, the Old West sucked.
6 of 7 people found the following review helpful.
Pleasantly surprised
By zelda88
I was skeptical of reading a book written by Seth MacFarlane, but I thought I'd give it a read since I'm a fan of his cartoons. The book was hilarious. Comedy novels rarely make me laugh out loud, but I laughed out loud quite a few times while reading this. Now the book could have been edited better because there were parts where scenes jumped and it was a little confusing what was going on.
I'm really I interested to see how the book and movie differ.
I would definitely recommend this book if you are a fan or like MacFarlane's humor.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
Absolutely loved reading this book!
By Randy
It was an amazingly funny book. It had a great story line and was just very funny and never once left me bored. I loved it!
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